My Journey to Food Freedom
Updated: May 19
When I was 15 years old, I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t look as skinny as all of my other friends. One evening, I had a breakdown in my bathroom when I tried on a green Victoria’s Secret t-shirt that was skin tight and made my arms look extremely unflattering. I cried when I saw the girl that was looking back at me in the mirror. When I look back at my life, I realize this is where the disordered eating patterns began. I decided I wanted to do something about my body and lose weight. I asked my mom to help me reach a goal of 115 pounds. When she asked me why such a specific number, I said “because that’s what the girls in my class weigh”. So the journey began. I restricted my calories and started an intense exercise routine. After school, I went to the gym and did hours of cardio only to go to basketball practice where we ran sprints and lifted weights. Of course, I lost weight pretty quickly. When I reached 115 pounds, I had no muscle, looked skinny fat, and still could not stand to look at the girl in the mirror. So I took my workouts to the next level. I began restricting calories even more, blocked out all hunger cues, and didn’t listen when loved ones said I needed to stop losing weight (in fact I took it as a compliment). I was spiraling downwards and had no idea the negative impact this would have on my life.
While dieting and exercise was creating a negative cycle in my life, there was a silver lining. Through all the trial and error to learn more about losing weight, I fell in love with the process and began my schooling at Texas A&M with a degree in nutritional science. During this time, I learned the impact that disordered eating, restricting calories, and over exercising can have on women's bodies. So I decided to increase my calories and try to find balance in exercise and nutrition. Little did I know, it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. My metabolism had plummeted from restricting calories, and even though I was eating healthy, in a calorie deficit, and working out, I gained about 20 pounds. I was mortified with my body and summer was fast approaching. I began the next cycle of restricting calories, but because my hormones were now a complete wreck and my metabolism still hadn’t recovered, I had to do 90 minutes of cardio every day, weight lift for an hour, and eat around 1,000 calories for my body to even begin releasing fat. I got extremely ripped doing this, however I couldn’t maintain it. So the next cycle of trying to recover my metabolism began and I gained even more weight.
During this time, I went to the doctor because my menstrual cycle was a complete mess, I could barely get out of bed, I was lightheaded and dizzy, and knew something was wrong. At this time, they discovered a mass the size of a golf ball growing on my thyroid. I knew this was because of the damage I had done to my body from years of dieting. I began looking for holistic routes to shrink the nodule and ended up seeing a holistic nutritionist. I discovered my estrogen was sky high, progesterone was near 0, thyroid hormones were completely out of range, and I was deficient in just about every vitamin in my body. Whether I liked it or not, I was about to begin the long journey towards healing my body.
The nodule on my thyroid began growing no matter what I did, and I decided to get it removed after 3 years of painful deliberation. After my surgery, I made a vow that I would never harm my body again and I continued my journey of healing and finding food freedom. I focused on increasing my calories little by little, doing activities I enjoyed in the gym, and researching the foods that best fit my body's needs. Every day I woke up a little bit happier and a little bit more joyful. The sky became bluer, I noticed sights and sounds throughout the day that I was just too tired to notice before, and my relationship with family and friends became stronger. I was finally human again, and that’s when I knew I needed to help others. I started my nutrition company and became passionate about helping others find freedom and joy in living a healthy lifestyle.
My first ever client was my own mom. She dieted since she was 10 years old and unknowingly raised me with insecurities in my own body because of the way she felt about hers. I became passionate about changing her life for the better, helping her find food freedom, releasing her from the grips of the scale, and showing her how to find joy in the new lifestyle I created. Along the way, I started helping others and here I am today with clients around the country teaching and helping them find food freedom the same way I did!
If you or someone you know is stuck in a pattern of disordered eating, bingeing, or battling with body dysmorphia, I promise you there is healing. If you don’t know where to start, feel free to message me on Instagram, my website, or Facebook. You can rest easy knowing that I have been through it and have come out the other side, a happier, healthier, and better version of myself!